Pretty Little Kitty - Boys Will Be Boys

AN: PLEASE READ THIS. IT'S IMPORTANT AND COMPLETELY DETRIMENTAL TO YOUR HEALTH.

Hola my people, behold I've crawled out of the hole of been hiding in to give you the longest chapter I've ever written for a story ever. I want to apologize for the late update; I know I made a promise, and there's no excuse for breaking my promise. I want to thank you for your patience, for all the faves, follows, and reviews. You guys are amazing; you have no idea how much it means to be right now.

SUPER IMPORTANT: I mention another writer's fabulous character, Mazel, in this chapter. She is not mine, and I got permission from Kiaira to mention her, but y'all should check out 'Of Gods and Heroes'. It accounts the adventures of Ancient Egypt's Ladybug and Chat Noir. Go and give Kiaira some love; you won't regret it.

There will be another AN at the bottom addressing guest reviews and fun fact, plus various, but this is getting long and I don't like it when notes take forever before I read, so I'll shut up and let y'all read…

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"Thanks for coming over, Nino," Adrien says, their footsteps growing closer. I curl up as small as I possibly can, praying they can't hear my beating heart or strained breathing. "You have no idea how boring lunches are here."

"Yeah," Nino says sarcastically, "poor little Adrien, with his world class chefs, perfectly balanced meals, right down to the last calorie. Dude, I bet your guys' trash has more nutritional value than most of what I eat."

The couch springs squeak under strain, one of Nino's shoes coming into view. I push back farther.

"And who's fault might that be?" Adrien laughs, his legs appearing as he pushes Nino's other leg off the white couch.

"I'm just saying, man," Nino replies. A bag unzips and something thuds on the table above me. "You have to learn how to enjoy the finer things in life." Something pops open.

"And what that's?"

"This, my friend, is an American delicacy; all the teens are eating it, so I'm told. It is," Nino's feet stomp, imitating a drum roll, "cold leftover pizza!"

"That's disgusting."

"Hey, don't knock it 'til ya try it." Nino must have brought the slice towards him, because stray bits fall to the floor in front of him. I lick my lips and hope against all hope my stomach doesn't start growling; I skipped breakfast again and now I realize I'm famished. Classic Marinette. "Course," Nino says through his chewing, "it's kinda an acquired taste."

There's a pause, Adrien shifts, and sits back. "It sure is something," he says out of the side of his mouth, "but it's not terrible." A beat, likely to swallow. "This does not leave the room."

"Dude, please, you don't think I don't know how much trouble you'd be in if your old man found out you were completely destroying your temple of a body. I got you, bro."

"Thanks Nino."

They continue to talk while eating, Adrien eventually pulling food out of his own bag, but it fades to the background. Thoughts of my mother's delicious soups paired with a couple of slices of fresh out of the oven bread drift in and I smile. Favors of chicken, celery, carrots, beans and greens float over my tongue and I can practically hear the crunch of the bread crust. My stomach growls angrily and I blush, scooting farther from the boys.

Emptiness opens its mouth beneath my hind legs and rear, and I fall back with a yelp, hitting my head on the coffee table in the process.

"Dude, what was that?"

I look up, and my blush deepens. Brilliant green and amber eyes stare at me with curiosity, awe, and confusion.

"It's a cat," Nino says.

I quickly roll off my back and dart across the room. The boys follow not far behind and I dive underneath Adrien's bed, situating myself safely under the middle.

"Dude, I didn't know you had a cat."

"I don't." Their knees kneel and soon they are both peering at me.

"Could've fooled me."

Adrien rolls his eyes and looks my way. "Hey there, kitty. What are you doing here?"

I stare back at them, my body shaking a little from nervousness and embarrassment. I knew I wouldn't be able to hide forever, but still, one can always hope.

Adrien extends his hand towards me and I take a step back. I know he means well, but right now, I want to curl up in a corner and disappear. He drops his hand and drums his fingers against the floor. "I'm not going to hurt you, kitty. You can trust me. Come here." His voice is laced with sugar-like sweetness and I melt a little inside.

"Don't worry, man," Nino says, reaching into his pocket, "I've got this." He's holding something in this hand as he reaches under the bed and with the click of his thumb, a bright red dot appears on the ground a short distance in front of my paws.

A laser pointer.

Really, Nino; I roll my eyes as the light wiggles back and forth teasingly. For any normal cat, this might have worked- I just think it's pathetic.

"Dude, get your camera out. People eat cat videos up- we could go viral."

I lift one eyebrow and shake my head. Now there's no way I'm going after the thing. I lay down, making it absolutely clear I have no interest in the dot.

Adrien laughs, that sweet noise is music to my ears. "Sorry, man," he says, putting a hand on his friend's shoulder, "but it looks like she's won this battle."

"She," Nino says quizzically. "How you know it's a girl?"

"She's a calico," Adrien replies standing up. "Only girl cats can be calicos. Make sure she doesn't go anywhere; I'll be right back."

Nino looks back at me and tries the laser pointer again. I smile to myself and force a yawn. "Brat," he whispers. I giggle; it's not my fault it's so fun to mess with him.

Adrien appears again and extends his arm under the bed. My eyes drift to the item he's holding, a plant stem decorated with a few leaves, which gives off a delicious mint-like scent. I move a bit closer to get a whiff. I notice some of the leaves have bruised, and the scent seems to emanate from them. It really is a nice smell; I wonder if Papa's ever come across it before. I'm close enough that I'm able to nibble on one of the leaves. The taste is nothing short of divine and I greedily reach for another bite. It draws away from me and I move to get closer. The scent and taste are starting to drive me insane; I need more.

It finally stops moving and I pounce on the stalk hungrily. Suddenly, something, hands I realize, wrap around my middle, and I let out a surprised, yet annoyed, yelp. It ends up coming out as an alarmed yell, and I have to fight the urge to dig my claws into something.

"How'd you do that, man?" Nino asks, his arms wrapping around my middle quite uncomfortably.

Adrien smiles, waving the stalk in the air, spreading some of its sweet scent around. "Catnip," he answers.

"Why the heck you have catnip?"

Taking me from Nino, Adrien shrugs. "The flowers are nice, plus it makes a nice accent piece."

"You can be such a chick sometimes," Nino shakes his head.

"You're just jealous 'cause she didn't fall for your laser pointer, isn't that right kitty?" His hand starts to scratch my side while he holds me, and great stars above, does it feel GOOD. I shamelessly lean into his hand and a deep purr starts in my chest. "So how'd you get in here, girl?" Adrien asks.

"Check this out," Nino says, touching the ribbon tied around my neck. "Maybe she's a gift from some crazed fan of yours."

"That'd be a first," Adrien quips, his hand stilling. "But what am I supposed to do with her now? My father's always been quite adamant about how he feels about pets."

Nino smirks and I knowingly wait for his reply. "Who says your old man has to know."

"Nino, I…"

"Dude, think about it. He's hardly around as it is, you could probs get Nat' in on it, and you've got money to burn with that allowance that you get." He reaches over and pets me on the head. "Taking care of a little kitty cat will be nothing."

"I don't know…"

I mew softly and rub the underside of his chin with the top of my head; hey, sometimes you have to play little dirty.

Adrien elicits a soft laugh, which is paired with a low, angry cat-like growl which my ears pick up as well.

"Alright, kitty," he says looking me in the eyes. "I'll keep you until we can find you a better home, 'kay?"

I tilt my head, blink at him, and smile a bit to myself. At least I've bought myself a little bit of time to think about how I'm going to get out of this situation.

The boys continue to fuss over me, which, if I'm honest, I don't mind at all. Who would have ever thought cats had it so good with this whole petting thing? Once all of this is fixed, I definitely need to see about getting a massage or a back scratch every now and again.

But alas, all good things must come to an end; the free-time for lunch quickly drew to a close, and with farewell pats on the head and sweet smiles of endearment, the boys left, the door clicking closed behind them.

"Well," Tikki says, whizzing to my side from her hiding place, "that wasn't so bad."

"It also didn't go well."

"Don't worry Marinette; Adrien knows you're here now. You won't need to hide anymore and I'm certain that he'll take good care of you."

As if on cue, my stomach grows loudly. I feel the blush all the way to the tips of my ears and Tikki giggles.

"Come on," she says, booping my nose. "Let's see about getting you something to eat."

I trot over to where the boys had been sitting and pick at the crumbs and bits left over, Tikki flitting around the room as if looking for something.

"Tikki," I mumble while chewing on a half of a pepperoni slice, "what are you doing?"

"You'll see," she hums knowingly.

I watch her as she flies to Adrien's desk and phases through, searching the drawers. I hear her muffled trill of happiness. I tilt my head, curious, and watch as one of the lower drawers opens and Tikki emerges. As I walk closer, I see that there's a small fridge tucked away inside and my mouth waters in anticipation.

"Don't get too excited," the kwami says, putting her whole weight into opening the door. The cool air hits my face and I gaze inside in confusion. There are a few bottles of fancy water, but for the most part, the fridge is filled with various types of cheese.

"Um, ok."

Tikki giggles again and pulls out a few wrapped pieces of Swiss and assists me in taking off their coverings. I gobble gluttonously, swallowing pieces almost whole.

"Slow down, Marinette," Tikki says through a full mouth. I look at her for a moment, surprised to see her eating something other than the sweet treats I usually offer her. It registers that she never had a chance to recharge after I was transformed; my purse with little cookies for her disappeared with my humanity. I swallow slowly, angry and ashamed at my selfishness.

"Marinette…"

"Thank you for taking care of me, Tikki; for watching out for me, making sure I made it somewhere safe. I was so focused on myself and this situation that I completely forgot about you and how worn out you must be and…"

"Marinette," she replies sweetly, touching my cheek like she sometimes does to comfort me. "It's ok; you're going through a lot right now. It's ok to forget things sometimes, especially if things are crazy."

"No buts," she says, booping my nose, "and that's the last I want to hear on the matter. We're both fine, and we're both hungry, so eat up. Just be careful though-cheese isn't always nice to kitties'' tummies."

I smile at her, pressing my nose under her chin, which elicits a small laugh, and we both get back to eating.

When we're done, Tikki closes up the fridge while I put the trash in the bin. My stomach is still a little grumbly, but the edge has been taken off at least. I leap onto the bed, searching for Tikki, who after a few moments emerges from the bathroom with a flowered stalk of catnip.

"And what is that for? Coming to tease me?"

"No," she says matter of fact-ly, curling up next to me. "This stuff shouldn't affect you right now; I was careful to not bruise it. This" she says, biting off one of the small white blossoms "is for me. But I'll share if you'd like."

"And get a kitty cat high? I'll pass." I look down at her quizzically. "Tikki, why'd did it mess with my head so much? Like when I smelled it, tasted it, all I wanted was more."

Tikki took a moment to swallow and looked at me with her lovely blue eyes. "In all honesty, Marinette, you are a cat right now. Your mind might be human, so some urges won't affect you as strongly, if at all, but you aren't completely immune. Some Chat Noirs have even been affected by catnip."

That peaked my interest; "is that so?" I smile deviously. I imagine Chat playing with the plant, rolling around in a field of the stuff, completely lost to the sweet smell locked in my memory.

"Mari, don't be mean to Chat."

"Why?" I ask innocently. "He's always teasing me."

"And you tease him right back," she notes.

I nudge her with my tail and smile. I'd never hurt my Kitty; still I have to admit, I want to see how he'd react now.

"You're not the first the first Ladybug to have to deal with kitty issues, you know?"

"Well we've each had our own Cats to deal with-I'd hope I'm not the first one," I joke.

Tikki shoots me a pointed glare before disappearing somewhere in here memory. "Mazel's experience was quite one to remember; cats all over the city, the dead, mummified ones coming back to life-have I ever told you this one?"

I shake my head, tucking my feet underneath me like cats do, ready for another bout of Ladybug stories. Mazel was the first of the Ladybugs I had learned about. Ever since the fight against Pharaoh and the occasional talks with Alya about the ancient Wielder, the Egyptian Ladybug found her way into my thoughts occasionally. If I was honest with myself, she was one of my favorites to hear about. She wasn't much older than I when she was called and the stories of her and her Chat's battles against the false gods always intrigued me.

Once again, Tikki's story-telling skills distracted me, enveloping us in the past as the world passed around us. By the time she finished, I noticed how the sun was beginning to hang low in the sky, painted the Parisian skyline with soft pastels.

I sit up, confused, looking towards the bedroom door. "I wonder where Adrien is. He should have gotten home by now." I run over his schedule in my mind: Friday, so he had fencing tonight. I look at the clock and frown; practice was over a few hours ago. "I hope he's alright."

"I'm sure he's fine, Marinette. He might be out with Nino, or maybe he had a last minute photo shoot."

"Yeah," I offer, still not convinced. He was talking about having a lot to do on the weekend at school earlier in the week. Maybe he was taking a little time for himself before a crazy weekend. That wasn't so hard to comprehend, right? Even Adrien Agreste is human (a beautiful human with eyes that shown like emeralds, hair that emanated sunlight, and an appearance that would make any wannabe Adonis run for their money).

I shift uneasily, not only because I'm concerned, but also because I've realized I really need to use the restroom. I look over at the door leading to the bathroom, quickly make up my mind thanks to my aching bladder, and trot off. Even if Adrien had had one, there was no way I'd be able to live with myself if I had to use a litter tray. I sigh in relief to find the seat is up (then again, this is a guy's bathroom) and with some careful maneuvering and balance, I'm able to relieve myself. With both paws, I push the flusher, move over to the counter, and do the best I can to wash my paws.

Flicking off the water as best I can, my ears twitch, catching the dull thud of something heavy landing on the roof. I turn my head towards the noise, my hair raising as I see movement outside the window. An angry, scared growl escapes my throat, growing in volume as the window opens slowly.

"Hey kitty kitty kitty, it's alright, it's just me."

A face pops in and shock overwhelms me. Chat Noir?! I stare at him in complete and utter confusion and he climbs into the room, closing the window behind him, and walks over to me.

"How are you this evening, little lady?" he asks, picking me up.

My mind is racing. Why is he here? How'd he know to use the window? Does Adrien know he's here? How often does he do this? How am I supposed to tell him it's me? If I do manage to communicate with him, will he tell Adrien? Is there any way we can fix this?

I shift uneasily in his arms, trying to get away as he walks into the bedroom and sits on the couch like he owns the place. I move to jump off and…SWEET LORD ALMIGHTY, his clawed fingers feel even better scratching me than when the boys did.

I'm instantly a puddle, purring like a biplane, stretching as to let him know where attention is needed. I can feel him smiling, see those gorgeous feline-like eyes watching me, knowing he's getting amusement out of this and I could really care less.

His hand starts to draw away, and with a mew of desperation, I put my paws against his chest and beginning rubbing the underside of his chin and the sides of his face with my own fuzzy face. He laughs, rubbing my head, neck, and shoulders, and moves just enough to touch my nose to his.

I can feel a blush spread over me to the tips of my ears and falter, which only causes him to laugh again and snuggle close to me. He lets out a content sigh and a soft hum, something almost like a purr, starts to resonate in his chest.

He's happy-my friend is happy. Never mind that I'm a cat and he has no idea that I'm me; he's content and he's here, and that's enough for me right now. I smile, snuggle and lean into his embrace, a deep purr starting in my chest.

There are a couple moments of this sweet moment, before there's a familiar whooshing sound and a strong tug on my ribbon, strong enough to pull me from Chat's suddenly lax grip.

I slide across the coffee table and land hard on my back on the floor, and my vision is over taken my black and green. It takes a moment for eyes to focus, but when they do, there's an extremely ticked off looking, small black cat floating in front of my face. From his small, fanged mouth, a slew of hisses, snarls, and growls flow out of his mouth, and if I had to put my money on it, I'd bet he's saying some not very nice things to my right now.

"I'm sorry," I apologize, bringing my paws to my chest. "I don't know what I did to upset you, but please forgive me. I didn't mean it."

"You pervert," he snarls. "It's creatures like you that give us cats a bad name. Of all the immoral, contemptible…didn't your parents teach you anything about decency?!"

"Excuse me?"

"Thinking just cause he looks like a cat, he's free for the taking. I'll have you know, you filthy queen, he already has his eyes set on a lady, and he sure as the Guardian ain't interested in what you're offering, you bestial sleaze."

My jaw drops, utterly dumbfounded.

"So you can walk your despicable self right back to the gutter you crawled out of, because as long as I'm living, none of my kittens will be played by any of you wanton sl…"

"Plagg!" the boy growls. The small cat's pulled away from me, granted with a fight, and forced to look at his addressor. "What are you attacking her for? She's not doing anything wrong."

"Not doing anyth…" Plagg scoffs, "she is trying to put the moves on you, kid! She's in full heat and has a snowball's chance in Hades dream that you're into bestiality."

"I'm not thinking anything of the sort," I scream.

"You're scent's would say otherwise," the cat growls.

"Plagg, back down."

The cat shoots me a pointed glare, a declaration of 'this isn't over' if I've ever seen one, and whisks away to some other corner of the room.

"Sorry about that, kitty," the boy says, looking after the black kwami. "I never would have thought Plagg to be the jealous type." He puts his hand behind his head, brushing his neck. "I'll talk to him, but maybe you should give him some space. And don't worry-I'm not sending you anywhere. You're welcome to stay as long as you need."

Stunning green eyes look back at me, his hair is like spun gold, his demeanor, different, yet familiar all at once. I feel the world cave in around me as mind spins. The similarities are there, so blatantly obvious I feel like a complete idiot as I stare at him.

It should have registered when the kwami appeared that Chat was gone, but he wasn't. He was right in front of me, acting the same as he always did, just wearing a different face. His face.

"Adrien," I whisper.

Adrien was Chat Noir.